Sorry, friends. I’ve been on vacation all week at Hume Lake. A glorious place without any cell phone reception! I like to tell myself I couldn’t post. Also, a blog is never less appealing to me than when I’m in the Sequoias. If my book makes me enough $, I may just move there and become a hermit.
Anyway, back to the digital get down. Here is the latest from our dearest Harmony.Date #2 Thursday Big Bear Collin In his very first contact with me, Collin asked to take me out. There is something intriguing about an eH match that gets straight to the point. I wanted to email a few times first before I committed to meeting in person. But when Collin mentioned in his second email that he is “looking for any excuse to get off the mountain” I said yes to going out. Collin recognized me from Biola (the university we both attended) which was flattering to know and also somewhat reassuring to find out I was not the only one to leave college without a “ring before spring.” When Collin called to set up the specifics of our date, he suggested two options: the batting cages or miniature golf. I like to be accommodating and attempt a try at an event a man suggests, however in this case, I could not hold back. I immediately negated the batting cage idea. Wearing a helmet on a first date did not seem appealing. The final decision was to meet at Camelot at 5PM and grab something to eat afterward. Around 4PM, Collin called to say that he didn’t feel like it was an actual date unless he picked me up and could we meet in a city nearby instead and drive to Camelot together. On my way (4:50), Collin called again to say he was at the carwash and should he just take his car out or be late since I was almost to my meeting spot? What! How many changes are you going to pull on me in the ten minutes before I shake your hand for the first time. Perfectly acceptable to change plans or run late once you’ve been dating a girl for a month or two but getting a carwash before a first date is mandatory in my opinion and doesn’t require all that much planning in advance, right?! He should be able to make this happen. Still, wanting to accommodate and not overstress him I told him it was no big deal. I would entertain myself until he arrived. 5PM on a Thursday in June is hot, especially sitting in my black Honda Accord. So I parked and decided to walk across the street and wait for Mr. Big Bear at Starbucks. As I’m typing a text to inform him, reassuring him that I don’t mind waiting at all, I get a (what I interpreted as) frantic…. “wait there! I’ll go with you.” Wait. What? Now I’m confused. “I took my car out of the wash.” Well, now I don’t need Starbucks but he thinks I really want to go because in my attempt to reassure him about it being no big deal that he is running late, I type something to the effect of, “I really need coffee anyway.” Oh, communication. So now we’re walking as perfect strangers together to Starbucks. Remember, I’m barely 5’4”, wearing flats in preparation for miniature golf, Collin is greatly exceeding the boundaries on 6’5”. I felt like his kid. Throughout the entire afternoon and evening he insisted on walking on the outer side of the sidewalk (to protect me from oncoming flyaway vehicles?? ) which somehow came across awkward every time we had to quickly switch positions. Miniature golf was fun. Me, him, and the three other teenage couples. But as the evening progressed, I just wasn’t feeling it. A good guy but not for me. After dinner, when he asked if I wanted to talk some more at a neighboring bar, I politely declined and suggested we call it a night. Driving home, I thought it was good to have met him and if he called again, I knew I would politely decline. You just can’t force chemistry. Except… The next morning I realized I have left my prescription sunglasses in his car. S@#T!! Online dating tip #2: Always drive yourself on the first date.
Well, all I can think is first dates are rough. Those initial few hours present a real conundrum: you need clear communication b/c you are strangers. You can’t ask or clearly communicate well b/c you are strangers. Unless there are real signs you won’t work out, I’m typically open and a fan of date 2. Jitters seem to taper a little and you can get to know the other person a little better. Maybe Big Bear and Harmony will do better when he returns the glasses;)