Cindy vs. Future

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I’m in the middle of looking for a new job. I hate it the way all people hate it. Beyond the busy work, I want to know what I’m doing next. I kinda want God to throw me a bone and just tell me already and get frustrated with myself for not knowing. Thankfully, these quotes found their way to me recently and I found them helpful.

Discipleship is not limited to what you can comprehend – it must transcend all comprehension. Plunge into the deep waters beyond your own comprehension, and I will help you to comprehend even as I do. Bewilderment is the true comprehension. Not to know where you are going is the true knowledge. My comprehension transcends yours. Thus Abraham went forth from his father and not knowing whither he went. He trusted himself to my knowledge, and cared not for his own, and thus he took the right road and came to his journey’s end. Behold, that is the way of the cross. You cannot find it yourself, so you must let me lead you as though you were a blind man. Wherefore it is not you, no man, no living creature, but I myself, who instruct you by my word and Spirit in the way you should go. Not the work which you choose, not the suffering you devise, but the road which is clean contrary to all that you choose or contrive or desire – that is the road you must take. To that I call you and in that you must be my disciple. “- Martin Luther quoted by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Cost of Discipleship
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day. What one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination.” -C.S. Lewis
“If we would follow Jesus we must take certain definite steps. The first step, which follows the call, cuts the disciple off from his previous existence. … The first step places the disciple in the situation where faith is possible. If he refuses to follow and stays behind, he does not learn how to believe.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

These quotes reminded me that the “not knowing what is next” thing is actually part of what I signed up for when I became a Christian. No need to get so frustrated with myself and God because I technically can’t have faith if I know everything. They are mutually exclusive. Like gooda Nickleback song or a fun baby shower.

My life is not ultimately my own. My only job is to follow God even when He doesn’t tell me the who, what, when, where, or why. It’s not my favorite part…but a part nonetheless. There are times where you and I will be in the dark and these are the seasons when we actually learn to believe and practice having faith.

Hope this encourages some of you, too. You can’t all have your stuff figured out, right? Or else why would you be reading this blog.

10 points to the person who can tell me the correct name of the map

100000 points to the person who gives me a job lead

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12 responses to “Cindy vs. Future”

  1. CR says:

    Marauder’s Map

  2. Julie M. says:

    Just wanted to say i love your blog! Being a fellow christian single in my 30’s, i get ya & can totally relate! Good luck on the job search, wish I had a lead :) p.s. I love New Girl too, by far best comedy on tv right now. Schmidt is amazing!

  3. Alecia says:

    Thought provoking quotes, my friend. For some reason we think God should give us the whole game plan up front. Makes us feel more in control, I guess. Nice to know Christians throughout the ages have struggled with the same things that bother me. When I’m in my right mind (the spiritual one) I remember that Jesus simply said, “Follow me” without giving specific details about where we would be going–except that it would require continual self-sacrifice and significant suffering and ultimately bring about good for me and the kingdom. Some days I’m really content with that, other times it makes me crazy!

    • cindyannjohnson says:

      Thanks for sharing! I, too, am glad to hear I’m not the only one who prefers to be in control:) Glad you found the quotes helpful.

  4. Jason says:

    I’ve been thinking a lot about faith lately. Recently revisited Abraham’s story from the scripture. There’s that line that says something like, “Abraham had faith in God and it was credited to him as righteousness.” My two big takeaways from this were: 1) Basically God wants us to trust him — to believe that he is there, that he sees us and that he will walk us into the future. Trust has a lot to do with believing someone has your needs and interests in mind — I think this is love. So, I need to trust that God loves me. Simple, but pretty big. 2) There is no Christianity without faith. This is pretty much what you said, Cindy. My spiritual lineage goes back to Abraham — I have no choice but to live by faith. It’s just the way it is. Right now, I want to know the end of the story — to live in the certainty of a happy ending. Unfortunately, right now, I am in the middle of the story and God is asking me to live by faith.

    • cindyannjohnson says:

      Thanks for sharing, Jason. You brought out two things I hadn’t thought of- faith being part of righteousness. I tend to think of righteousness only as doing the right thing. Interesting. And you are so right about the love component. Trust has to begin there. I should start there. Thanks, again.

  5. Bree says:

    Once again, well-written, not that it should surprise me :) I think you hit it dead on. Those are the times when our discipleship is tried and tested and we are asked to live out what we say we believe. Hardest times, but best times no doubt. You’re doing a great job of it. I’m RELENTLESSLY throwing your name in the hat for every open job in SLO. But seriously…

  6. I swear I knew which map it was right away, too! :) I especially love the C.S. Lewis quote. It’s so true… that our “real” life is in fact that one we are living… the one full of ups and downs. I often find myself thinking that same way, like “Gosh, when will this dream I have… this REAL life begin?” I have to take a step back and realize that I am living it! It’s like that cheesy Trace Adkins song… You’re Gonna Miss This, which always makes me tear up haha thanks for the great post!! You really are inspiring and I know you will find something great :)

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